


"K'vorka"

by LovelyZelda



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-02
Updated: 2010-05-02
Packaged: 2017-10-09 06:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyZelda/pseuds/LovelyZelda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fill for <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/"><b>st_xi_kink</b></a>:</p><p><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/8893.html?thread=26355901#t26355901">McCoy comes in contact with a chemical that seems to attract Vulcans and send them into a frenzy of lust over him, unfortunately their latest assignment involves landing on the New Vulcan settlements.</a></p><p>Done pretty much as soon as I saw it on the kink meme, so apologies for any of the usual mistakes.  And, as you can probably guess if you recognize the title, I'm completely ignoring any negative connotations.  (But I can see how this could easily be a much darker story, so I figured I should warn that it's played for laughs)</p><p>A bit of language, but semi-tasteful fade outs for all the sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"K'vorka"

New Vulcan was a bit friendlier than he'd expected it to be. At first he'd found it amusing--something to tease Spock about--but now his shirt was literally gone, and the Vulcans were getting insistent.

"Your species is still ruled by its passions," said one of them. "You do not need to pretend otherwise."

He swatted another hand away from his forehead. Several of them were rubbing his left hand and trying to fight off any newcomers. The rest seemed to be trying to start a mind meld.

Given the numbers and the fact that your average Vulcan was a great deal stronger than your average human, it really wasn't all that funny anymore. At least not here--even the suggestion that his people were lust crazed maniacs from all those years of repression would probably piss Spock off. That was something to look forward to.

Assuming he wasn't crushed under a pile of horny Vulcans.

For the moment they seemed to be content to just use their hands, but as more Vulcans started to appear, the ones who were there got a bit more territorial. Of course Vulcans were not known for violent outbursts, but they weren't known for hand-fucking visiting humans either.

He finally managed to pull his communicator free and flip it open. "McCoy to _Enterprise._ One to beam up."

***

"So I figured you'd know what's going on," said McCoy.

"I have a theory," said Spock. Apparently he'd picked up kissing from somewhere, although he was also moving their hands together in a way that could probably be described as thrusting.

"And you can't tell me this theory from somewhere other than my lap?"

"That would be illogical."

"Jim," said McCoy as Spock continued to basically straddle him. "Can't you do something about this?"

"I could, Bones," said Kirk. "But it's just too hilarious. And now maybe you'll understand what it's like being me."

McCoy rolled his eyes. "I don't know if I want to save the security footage of this or not."

"Oh, we're saving it."

"What's this theory of yours, Spock?" asked McCoy. He didn't know whether to file an official complaint about this or just thank Uhura for teaching Spock about the sensitivity of the human neck.

"Doctor, I believe you have what we call the _k'vorka_," said Spock. "In fact, I am quite certain of it."

"The what?"

"Literally the 'lure of the animal'." There went another god damned uniform as Spock casually ripped his shirt in half. "A sexual chemistry so powerful that no sentient lifeform is able to resist it."

"Yeah, I've had that for years," said Kirk.

McCoy had forgotten he was still in the room. Since Spock had committed whole heartedly to being a lust-crazed maniac, McCoy had decided it would be rude to just sit there like a bump on a log.

And then there was another pair of hands on him and someone nibbling on his earlobe since of course Jim couldn't just leave the room like a normal person.

***

Two days later, McCoy was exhausted and running out of places to hide. The last few times he'd been down to the surface to try to do his damn job, he'd been cornered by one or two Vulcans.

When those two were T'Pau and Sarek it had been a bit awkward. That was a potential interplanetary incident either way, and McCoy had decided to use Kirk's favorite form of diplomacy.

At least he wanted to think he'd been the one to decide that.

And T'Pau and Sarek could have been much more awkward since the older Spock was the one who found him next. McCoy had been about to beam up, but the older Spock had to be much less demanding than the younger one waiting on the _Enterprise_.

Apparently some male Vulcans did not see the same loss of sexual ability that older human males did. Also they were aware that a human male in relatively good health was not likely to die from too much sex and some of them could use mind meld evidence to show that one would still be capable of back to back sessions in a few decades.

Sex mad Vulcans was one thing, but showing someone what they'd look like naked thirty years from now was a sure sign that one was a god damned son of a bitch. When he told Spock this, the old Vulcan gave him this weird look and honestly looked like he was going to cry. But not in a way that meant he was going to leave McCoy alone and let him get some god damned sleep. Insulting him more only seemed to encourage him.

So when the Spock he knew called him to the conference room, McCoy had his phaser ready.

Jim was already there, and Spock was avoiding looking at both of them. "Doctor, I believe I have discovered the real reason behind the...recent incidents," said Spock. He was slightly green and very interested in the table. "During the mission to Decapod 7, you were exposed to a chemical compound that works as an incredibly powerful aphrodisiac on Vulcans."

"So, this _k'vorka_ thing?" asked McCoy.

"Has never actually been observed," said Spock. "I may have...exaggerated slightly." He looked at Kirk, then quickly looked away. "I have had the relevant security tapes destroyed."

"Come on, Spock, what's the point of being in Starfleet if we don't have a lot of crazy sex with other species?" asked Kirk.

"I believe Starfleet regulations are explicitly against--"

"Spock, you were in a couple of human sandwiches, and you enjoyed it. And there's nothing wrong with that. Unless Uhura finds out."

"I think she knows, Jim," said McCoy.

"To continue your metaphor, I believe she would have been considered the meat in one of those 'sandwiches,'" said Spock.

"We've still got the tapes of that, right?" asked Kirk.

"Well, Spock, is New Vulcan going to call me afterwards?" asked McCoy.

"I believe the involved parties will try to pretend it never happened," said Spock. "And I would prefer not to know why my father has been asking about your health or your interests."


End file.
